LGBT and High School

A couple weeks ago we talked about LGBT and all during the lecture all I could think about was how my highschool handeled and treated students who were homosexual and or bi sexual. There were two incidences both times being over dates to prom that I remember most disinclty. The first incident took place back when I was a freshemen in highschool. It was sometime during the beginging of spring, roughly two months before the years Junior/Senior prom. I remeber being up at the office with a headache and one of the upper classmen guys came storming in yelling about how our school was being discrimitive and that he had the right to bring his boyfriend to the prom. I left the office before I could hear what exactly had happened, but when I go to the lunch room my friends were waiting to tell me all about it. They said that Shawn had turned in his date paper for prom with his boyfriend Tim's name on it. Apparently what had happend after that, was the pricipal had called him out of class to tell him that he would not be able to bring his date to prom. He told him that if he had planned on attending the dance that he would either have to go alone or bring a date of the oppsosite sex. We didn't really hear much about it after that day but when prom finally came everyone noticed that he had come with a female date, walking through the parade he just looked so sad. This was my first time witnessing this kind of discrimination.
The second time, was my junior year of high school when two girls a year a head of my wanted to attend that years prom together as a couple and walk through the parade together. Just as with Shawn the two girls were denied, but this time they didnt let if go and it was taken to the school board so that they could have the final say on the matter. When it was brought before the school board they had told the two girls that in order for them to go together as a couple they were required to provide evidence that they were really in a realtionship. In order to dp this they were told to get five singned statements from people other than classmates confriming that they were indeed in a committed realtionship and that both the girl's parents were required to appear and also confirm the realtionship.
I found this to be absoultely appaling and maybe one of the most horrible cases of discrimination I have seen in my lifetime. This whole incident caused so much hurt and pain for these girls as I am sure it did for Shawn years before. What bothered me the most was that one of the two had yet to tell her parents and her coming out became a public ordeal in front of poeple she did not want to share her most intimate life with. The other girl had a father who did not approve of his daughters relationship, therefore he refused to stand up for her and confirm said realtionship, making it so that they were not allowed to attend the prom as a couple. This whole thing that my high school has going on when it comes to sexual orientation, is insane. They the school have decided to put in thier hands the love lives of the students that they teach, not stopping ever to consider and to think about how they would feel if they were persecuted for who they love.
The conclusion I came to after having witnessed all of this was that I can not imagine what it must be like to feel so unsafe and judeged at a place were i spend more time then at my own home. I found myself feeling very proud by the end of that school board meeting that those two girls fought for thier rights even if they were wrongly denied and in fact....There stance against the school board gave me the courgage to fight againts the school board the following month to be able to gradaute a year ahead of time!

The Young and the Old

This week in class be have been talking about ageism and how in today's society we are all about pro-youth. I was thinking about this the other day about the ideas on age and I realized that it isn't always pro-youth. What I mean by that is young kids these days strive day after day to be older and to be considered more mature, while at the same time the adults are striving to be younger and seem more hip. In today's world we see young boys and girls who will stop at nothing in order to make themselves seem older whether it be by the clothes they choose to wear, the way they talk or the activities they take part in, everyday kids are trying to be older On the flip side of this we have the adults who do the exact same thing, they will change the way they are dressed, the way they talk and even participate in activities to make themselves seem younger. My question is where is that gap between pro-age and pro-youth? At what point do we as a society stop trying to be older and start striving to be younger, When does it hit us that we are now on the opposite side of the spectrum? I had a friend once tell me that its all down hill after 25 its all down hill and at first I just laughed and thought that is was silly but then I got to thinking and I realized something, it is around this age that we start to see women faking their age because after 25 your only getting closer to 30 the birthday I am told every women dreads but maybe there is something here maybe it is at this point that we shift from pro-age to pro youth?

Fat Like Me

This week in class we have been talking about overweight/obesity and the stigma attached to it and it got me thinking about this movie I saw on lifetime a few years back called Fat Like Me. The movie was about this girl who all of her life had been an athlete and she was banking on getting a softball scholarship to pay for college, well she ends up breaking her ankle during the season and misses out on the college scouts and the scholarship. Now with no scholarship she must find a way to pay for school so she and a class mate of hers enter a video contest to win a large cash prize. For their video the two girls decide to focus on obesity and the stigma that comes with it. For the summer the main character dresses up in a fat suit and attends college classes and recording with a micro camera all that takes place while on campus and how the other students react. During the movie while she is dressed in her fat suit the main character is called names right to her face, at one point when she can't fit into her desk one young man even yells lard ass right across the class room in front of the teacher. This was at first shocking to me when the teacher did nothing but ask the students to quiet down but then I remembered a teacher I had in high school who not only did nothing when students would verbally harass the overweight students but he himself would join in right in the middle of class and several times through out the year different concerned students would bring this to the attention of school officials and time after time nothing was done and then it dawned on me that we not only have a stigma on overweight and obese individuals but we also as a society have made it acceptable to harass these people and I don't know if its maybe because as a society we see it as their own fault therefore we as people feels its okay to treat them with less than an ounce of human respect....Really I just don't know!

Sexism and the Media

The media mutilates women and sells their images to us, so that women forever hate themselves and men forever lust for an object that doesn't even exist. The end result is domestic violence, oppressive gender roles, low self esteem, billions of dollars spent every year on cosmetics and cosmetic surgery, a slew of eating disorders and a desperate desire to maintain an appearance invented in the minds of what the media has decided is beautiful and therefore acceptable. This idea is neither natural or humanly possible. So why then is it that it continues on, it is because the media has the need to make profit off of others self perceptions, giving no thought the the health and lives being ruined daily due to the images women cannot possibly live up to. The perfect example of this is Barbie, she is your stereotypical blond with large breasts and a tiny waist, women have spent years trying to become this ideal doll but the truth is if Barbie was a real women there is no way she could possibly support her frame. Barbie would be well over seven feet tall and her waist so tiny that she there would be no way for her to have a set of ribs or room for major organs. Barbies boobs would be to large for her that she would in reality have no way of not toppling over and if she could find a way to support herself she would suffer from severe back and shoulder problems. Sounds pretty unrealistic right, so I ask again why is it that the media shows women like this and this image. Its a question that is still to be answered!

Sexism at its Best!

This past week there has been a lot of talk in almost everyone of my classes about the idea of sexism, and it got me thinking

about an experience I had back in high school I guess you could call it my own personal experience with sexism. It was back

during my junior year of high school and I had run out of electives to take other than to take one of the shop classes the

school offered. Now the shop classes at my school were set up like this, all the students were broken up into groups each

group was assigned a big project whether it be to build the whole set for the school play or weld parts of the school

back together or there was rebuilding a whole car from the ground up. I was one of the lucky ones who was put into the group

that had to rebuild the entire car and then I was even more in luck when my entire group was made up of guys (not). Now if

being in a group as the only female wasn't enough I had to hear on a daily basis how I couldn't handle the tools or touch any of

the parts because I was a girl, that right they went there and pulled the girls know nothing about cars crap. Everyday I would

walk into class and go to my station and everyday one of the guy in my group would come up and take my part away from me

and say things like don't worry about it we'll take care of. One of the guys in my group even had the audacity to say that cars

were not "women's" work and if I wanted to help maybe I could I just clean off the work stations. I had never

felt so disrespected in my life, it was such a bad feeling to think that just because I was a girl they didn't think I was competent

to work right along side of them and I think what was worse was that the teacher knew all of this was going on and I was told

later after the class was over that the teacher has told one of my group members that the whole reason I was put on that project

is because he knew that the guys would do all the work and then he would just give me the A because he didn't wanna hassle

with any questions a girl might have about the car. I think that was the first and really the only time I have ever

experienced blatant sexism but you can bet that I will always remember that...But what I think I will probably remember the most

is when I came back to school after Christmas break that year with a completely rebuilt classic and the video that me and my

girlfriend taped of us helping rebuild that entire car and you can bet it kicked ass when they put up against the one that the

guys in my group has built in shop class!

Reverse Racism

This week while reading through the discussion question responses, I came across one that I posted on and that got me thinking about reverse racsim against whites. The article that this girl has chosen to write over was about a black coach at a college who had made his team a great sucess but when it came to the budget they did not give him the money for the program that he thought was deserved. She talked about how this was considered racsim because he was a black coach and that this was the reason they would not give him the money for the program. This really got me thinking that it was pretty much revesre racism to assume that the school officials being white as it was implied would be refusing him money based on his race, not even considering that the reason perhaps that they didnt give him the money was becuase sucess or no sucess black coach or not that there was just simlpy not enough money in the budeget to give the amount of money the coach thought he and the program deserved.

I am seeing it more and more each day as we have been talking about Racism, that every where you look people want to pull out the race or the racsim card and that it mainly whites who are being accused or threatend by this. I undestand that yes white people are the ones who gave birth to slavery in the U.S.A and that it was again whites who continued to treat African Americans as though they where beneath us or equilvelant to property but just as people came to see that that was unfair and wrong is it not wrong to assume also that all racsim comes and is practiced by whites alone. Whites not only get the accused of rascim against blacks but of almost all races. It has gotten to a point that almost all places are required to hire or accept or pick someone of a diffrent race into thier instutions and establishments in fear that they will be slapped with a lawsuit for racsim regarless of the fact that maybe those applicants where just under qualified for the job.

Just like the coach from the article, no one wants to take into considertation that there could infact be other reasons and justifications behind what people due that is in no way shape or form related to someones race which really leads me to ask the question how long are whites going to have to pay the price for our ancestors mistakes?

Disneys Contribution to Stereotyping

Most all people have seen the Disney Movie classics, and for most people we end up showing them to our children to watch and love as we did as children. The Disney movies have always been a source for excitment, magic, and learning life lessons in fact, Walt Dinsey himself had commented on the virtues and good examples that his movies set for the youth. Walt was definitley right the Dinsey movies do indeed use life lessons along with morals and values as the theme for thier stories, but what they also do is help children learn racial stereotypes at a young age and perhaps even starting them off in this world with a more racist attitude.
I was checking online the other day for copies of the Disney movie Mulan (a childhood favorite) and came across and article that after reading I knew I had to blog on. The article stated that if thinking about the broader picture one would see that their and several idetifiable cases of racial stereotyping. For example in the movie "The Jungal Book" the gorillas and orangutans have an African accent, which would portary to children when trying to identify that all Africans are silly, stupid and lazy like the characters. In the movie "Oliver's Company" the little chihuahua Almonzo is typed cast as a Latino trouble maker and at one point is talking about stealing cars. When children hear that similar accent that is what they are going to see all Latinos as trouble makers. The movie "Lady and the Tramp" have those two simese cats with the stereotypical slanted eyes and are seens as sneaking an manipulative which in childrens eyes will be the same thought for all Asians. Alddian perceives arabs as mean and ignorant, Peter pan shows all indians as savage and dumb, and Lion King the hyenas talk like they are from the inner city.
All of these movies are yes very wholesome and yes they are teaching children good life lessons they can carry into adulthood, but with America being a multicultral nation I worry that becuase these movies do have thier characters portraying very neagtive and stereotypical racial parts that children will start to asscocaite these things with peoples races and not only that but because in all these movies white caucasian men are the dominant powerful "good" guys I wonder if children will start to model such beahvior and being cacasuion seeing themselves as elite esspecially boys and will the children of other ethnic backgrounds try to adopt these stereotypes becuase that is what they are shown?

Bad people or Bad Choices?

Many ex offenders or, ex felons suffer from collateral damages that keep them from finding a job, housing, and voting long after they have paid their debt to society. Along with these struggles of just attaining everyday life necessities they must also deal with the stigma that comes attached after they have left prison. People all throughout our culture wanna judge and stigmatize those who have had to serve time. Many of them (not all) who are or were serving time for non-violent crimes. Society has decided to label them as bad people instead of perhaps looking at it like they might have just made some bad choices and done some bad things. This labeling that society has put on those who have served time or look to serve time has just recently been something I can relate too.

Over the summer I met a guy who I was really into. He was your typical all American 21 year old guy, nothing too out of the ordinary he seemed like a pretty uncomplicated safe guy ,not someone that a person should be concerned about. So we started to hang out over the summer and naturally my mother got curious about who he was and what kind of things he was into, so instead of asking me she went and asked my uncle to find out more about him. My uncle ran a search through the Iowa Courts online and found out that he had himself a lenghty list of offenses one that stuck out though was a drug charge that he had gotten right before we had met, more too that he is looking at facing time in prison. As you can imagine this became a real issue for my family and friends.

After finding all of this out is when I really noticed that my family like society was assuming he was a bad guy and not so much that he did a bad thing. It became almost like a joke with my family, every time they would see me someone would make a joke or a remark about him and how he was nothing but a "drug mule" they would call him things like "Kilo" and go on saying things like well if he is going to prison hes a horrible guy and his life is going nowhere and they even had the audacity to start saying things like "well ya know if she stays with him she is going to be nothing more than a beaten pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, that's assuming a criminal like him would even be able to get a house."

Now for me sitting there listening to that I'm thinking to myself now why is it that you guys are associating every Offender and Felon with domestic violence, poverty and ignorance. Then it occurred to me that it is just all part of the stigma associated with those who have committed crimes. Society will always look at them as though they are nothing and worthless because they made a mistake, don't get me wrong there are certain crimes that yes are almost too unforgivable, but for those who have not committed violent crimes and have paid their time why is that society is never going to let them become something and try to learn and better themselves from what they used to be. Could society maybe for one second just think that there maybe that chance that these offenders and felons might not all be BAD PEOPLE just people who made some bad mistakes?

Common Stereotypes of Men in the Media

I was doing research the other day about how over sexed the media truly is these days, however, I did not find what I was looking for instead I found this article about the common sterotypes of men in the media. The article reports; "Various media analysts and researchers argue that media portrayals of male characters fall within a range of stereotypes. The report Boys to Men: Media Messages About Masculinity, identifies the most popular stereotypes of male characters as the Joker, the Jock, the Strong Silent Type, the Big Shot and the Action Hero."

The Joker: is a very popular character with boys, perhaps because laughter is part of their own "mask of masculinity." A potential negative consequence of this stereotype is the assumption that boys and men should not be serious or emotional. However, researchers have also argued that humorous roles can be used to expand definitions of masculinity.

The Jock: is always willing to "compromise his own long-term health; he must fight other men when necessary; he must avoid being soft; and he must be aggressive." By demonstrating his power and strength, the jock wins the approval of other men and the adoration of women.

The Strong Silent Type: focuses on "being in charge, acting decisively, containing emotion, and succeeding with women." This stereotype reinforces the assumption that men and boys should always be in control, and that talking about one’s feelings is a sign of weakness.

The Big Shot: is defined by his professional status. He is the "epitome of success, embodying the characteristics and acquiring the possessions that society deems valuable." This stereotype suggests that a real man must be economically powerful and socially successful.

The Action Hero: is "strong, but not necessarily silent. He is often angry. Above all, he is aggressive in the extreme and, increasingly over the past several decades, he engages in violent behavior."

The Buffoon: commonly appears as a bungling father figure in TV ads and sitcoms. Usually well-intentioned and light-hearted, these characters range from slightly inept to completely hopeless when it comes to parenting their children or dealing with domestic (or workplace) issues.

After reading through each of these it got me thinking perhaps is this why we have stereotypes becuase the media has already laid them out for us, maybe its not so much that we are nauturally prone to catorgorize as the catogories were all laid out for us in the beging and we are just following suit, I don't really know but if so WHO started the stereotyping and WHO will end it?

A Horror Story of Authoritarian Parenting

In class the other day we went over the four different types of parents, each with there own style and way. These four include Authoritarian, Authoritative, Passive and Univolved. The one I want to cover today is Authoritarian parenting and the possible effects I think it may cause for some kids.
Authoritarian parents who tend to overemphasize the discipline side of the equation are referred to as authoritarian. Authoritarian parents are demanding in the worst sense of the word. They are intimidators, requiring obedience and respect above all else. They become overly angry and forceful when they don't get that obedience and respect. Their love and acceptance appear totally conditional to the child. They do not teach or listen to their kids or explain the reason for their expectations, which are frequently unrealistic. They often see their children's individuality and independence as irrelevant or threatening.
An example of this type of parenting could have been seen at my friend Bethany’s house. Going to her house I always knew that someone was going to be yelled at, and that when there it was probably just best not to speak. Some of the things I came to see over the years were things like, her dad held her to such high expectations as far as school was concerned that she was sometimes even too afraid to come home and tell him she had gotten anything lower than an A in her classes. There were times I could seriously watch her beg a teacher in tears for extra credit just so she could get that one assignment back up. Anytime she would ask a question it was always responded to in the ever so clever “Its’ none of your business” or my favorite cliché “Because I’m the parent and I said so.” The worst thing I think I noticed while I was there is that neither Bethany nor her brother was ever shown any affection until after they had accomplished something. It was straight up an Authoritarian house more like a boot camp then a home.
The research has shown that authoritarian parents tend to produce children who are more withdrawn, anxious, mistrustful and discontented. These children are often overlooked by their peers. Their self-esteem is often poor. Now I don’t know about the being overlooked by peers’ thing, but as far the rest of the issues she was a text book case and as being mistrustful well Bethany had that one down perfect. I don’t remember a single weekend when we would all go out and she would have to lie to her parents even if we were doing something as innocent as going to the bowling alley. Things for Bethany didn’t stay so innocent for long, she started going out drinking every weekend, she got into so hardcore drugs and she started to act as though her self-worth came only with the high number of men she had been sleeping with. It didn’t take long for her to end up pregnant and too this day I still ask myself if Cole was the one miracle that saved her life, but the bigger question I ask is had her Dad been more of an Authoritive parent would she of spiraled out of control or tried to get pregnant like she did just so she could have that one thing to love her unconditionally. We won’t ever know what could have been but I’ll always wonder was it her Dads parenting style that almost destroyed her life.